It Is A Smart Patient Who Asks Their Doctor This Question

When a medical provider is speaking with a patient, there are a lot of things governing what they should and should not say. Some of these things are written laws, some of them are vague guidelines, and some of them are instinctual judgment calls. We have to be careful what we say when someone's well being is in our hands – providing misinformation or misguided advice can do real harm.

This restraint comes from a place of responsibility. But as the patient, it can be really frustrating when you're not getting the information you need, and most of us have been there at some point or another. There are times when we have a deeply concerning health issue and we need some straight talk from the doc. Medical providers have a whole lot of knowledge, not just about disease and medicine but also about the spinning cogs of the healthcare system's inner workings. They know how the sausage is made.

When an Emergency Department doctor's child gets hurt, that doctor is going to use every bit of knowledge and experience she has to make sure her child will be okay. When a nurse's mother falls ill, he will come at the system from every angle to make sure his mother receives the care she needs. This is the kind of insight we need sometimes. So how do we harness that insight for ourselves?

Make it personal.

It doesn't matter what type of medical provider you are talking to, be it a doctor, nurse, dentist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, or physical therapist. The information you need is already in that provider's brain and all you have to do is extract it in a useful form. The fastest way to cut through all the noise is to invoke an emotional response. Activate your provider's protective instincts.

And that's why, as a smart patient in need of further guidance, you will know to ask your doctor:

“If this happened to a member of your family, what would you want them to do?”

In every instance that a patient has asked me this question, I was more than happy to give them a detailed answer. In fact, I was relieved to speak freely – because this type of question has another advantage.

Not only does this question make the situation personal, it makes it hypothetical. I have the freedom to describe what I would do if someone I love were experiencing a similar problem. Instead of being confined to the patient-provider interaction playbook, I can give a more authentic answer.

When smart patients ask me this question, they get answers like this:

“Well, if a member of my own family came home with this, I would be on the look out for these red flags. I would want to rule out these worst-case scenario conditions. I would want them to get these types of tests done. I would want them to consult this type if specialist. I would want them to try these less risky treatment options first. I would advise them to eat these types of foods to help them get better faster. I would tell them to do these gentle exercises twice a day. And I would take them to the ER if these symptoms emerged or worsened.”

When was the last time a doctor gave you information that detailed?

Not all medical providers will be as forthcoming with their insight. Sometimes they might need a little extra nudge. So if you asked your provider the above question and you aren't satisfied with their answer, you have the right to advocate for your own health with some follow up inquiries. Try it from another angle.

“If your child came home with this type of pain, are there any imaging tests you would want to order?”

“If your mother had these symptoms, which serious conditions would you want to rule out?”

“If this happened to your partner, what would be your next steps?”

Face-to-face time with your provider is limited, so make sure your visit gets you as much information as possible so you know what to do when you leave their office. Medical providers are not miracle workers – they are knowledgeable. That knowledge is what you need to leverage.

We are all patients at some point in time or another. When those times come, and we find ourselves in need of a doctor, we have to be advocates for our own well being.

Remember this:

A good medical provider gives you the information you need to make informed decisions.

And a good patient takes an active role in their own care.